In Adelaide, the match between Port and the Crows is called the ‘Showdown’. They are up to Showdown XXI, or something like that. Note that some genius (dickhead)  has adopted the US Superbowl use of Roman letters, as if most Port supporters would know what that means? Actually, I have to remind myself that I have changed my views about Port – they are club with tradition, more than 100 years, as opposed to those pretty boy blow-in Crows. Sorry Margaret. It’s not that I actively support Port, I couldn’t care less about either side, but I have reduced my outward bagging of them. Anyway, everywhere else on the planet the much anticipated clash between neighbouring teams is referred to as a ‘Local derby’. Call me a traditionalist, but I like this. So what the fuck is the ‘Q clash’ supposed to be? Jeez, marketers give the me the shits.

Last weekend the Bombers had a 93 point lead over the Suns after the first quarter. NINETY-THREE POINTS IN ONE QUARTER. That is completely ridiculous. If the Lions dont flog the Suns I feel sure coach Voss is going to blow a gasket. And so he should. Not that he is without blame for the mess which the Lions are in – the signing of that idiot Fevola was the catalyst for blowing the salary costs sky high, which in turn (must have) contributed to the departure of seriously good players – Rischitelli, Bradshaw and Brennan. The Suns are complete crap. But at least they have won a match, against Port, much to the apparent embarrassment of all the Port players.

I have snatch a look at the score Suns 3.2.20 Lions 0.0.0. Sweet Lord Jesus, this cannot be true. Deep breathing. In. Out. Come on boys. Briggsy will surely jump the fence and tonk someone if the Lions lose. I remember a match I played for the (mighty) Western District Bulldogs circa 1977 when we played so badly that the coach denied us oranges at half time. On another occasion the performance was so insipid we had to run laps after the game. Would that be enough shame for these so-called professional footballers? Update, Suns 6.3.39 Lions 2.1.13. Fuck me! Where is Brownie when we need him? Ah yes, probably in the dressing room waiting to give his teammates a bollocking.

I switch focus to watch the French Connection, what a cracking film from 1971. Very gritty, and the scene when Gene Hackman confiscates a car in order to chase the bad guy who has hijacked the subway train is terrific. I have another peek at the footy score, it’s not good…

Sunday dawns. The kids have been told that under no circumstances is Lisa to be woken up before 7.00 am, on account of it being Mothers Day. They comply, it’s a miracle.

The Lions lost by 8 points. Voss is not happy. I watch the highlights. Jack too. He comments that the main reason they lost was because they were wearing that insipid white Away jersey. It actually looked like a pretty good match, Lions were behind all night but drew level with 5 minutes to go. Gold Coast look to have received a favourable penalty in the dying minute or so and kicked a goal, but perhaps the highlights are misleading. The Lions are planted at the bottom of the table, but at least they are not being beaten by 50 points every week. Some consolation…

The other event of the weekend was the death of the great Spanish golfer Seve Ballesteros. Often the nemesis of the Shark (who was my hero) in the 80′s Seve played like no one else. He hit impossible shots, had superb touch around the greens and when he was on-song he was unbeatable. I love this pic of him, having an absolute slash at a shot in the 1988 Open – he shot 65 in the last round to win by 2. RIP

Readers may also be interested in the 21st Century blog reflections of my niece, Lucy, aka the dresser upper who I think has a terrific knack for story telling, which her Pop, Dad, would be proud of. It was his birthday yesterday, by the way, happy birthday Dad, you are much missed.

Gold Coast: 18.16 (124) – N Krakouer 5, B Matera 2, L Patrick 2, T Lynch 2, D Harris, D Stanley, J Brennan, J Daye, M Shaw, S Iles, T McKenzie

Brisbane: 17.14 (116) – A McGrath 6, D Rich 3, M Clark 2, T Banfield 2, C Beams, J Adcock, J Polkinghorne, S Black