I am not sure I can take too much more of this.

Serious excitement as the Saturday night ball-up looms. Rudd is in the ‘Gabba grandstands – he’s the local member after all… I remember how much I use to wince (and shout abuse at the tele) seeing John Howard at the rugby in his Vodafone Wallabies scarf (Jesus, wasn’t that a sell out – you’d never see the All Blacks succumb so pathetically to international commercial interests and cover their national jersey with a huge logo). Not much has changed – Rudd looks well out of place at a sporting event.

Flash to the Lions dressing room: it’s full-on, blokes crashing into another, Brownie is roaring. This will be great. They’re pumped. At last we can jump out of the blocks and get the early score. Err, not. Carlton kick 3 goals straight away. WTF? It’s the bloody Port game all over again! The game progresses. Jason Roe must have placed a bet on Carlton winning – every time he gets near the ball he fucks something up. He’s well out of his depth (says he from his lounge room…). Bradshaw looks great. Brownie too. The Blues spread it wide at breakdowns and are fast fast fast. The Lions are being left behind. Clark is doing a fab job in the ruck though, murdering them. Fev’s doing nothing. Good. Grub. Judd gets a shot just before 1/4 time. Misses by a mile. Thank Christ. One goal down. The commentators are critical of the Blues especially persisting with kicking to Fevola, which has come to nothin. Kids get ice cream. Jack is losing interest.

Things happen so quickly. A ball-up, the ball is in Judd’s hands. He runs, He kicks. Goal. Shit. Black is looking great for the Lions. Lions hit the post. Bugger. Sherman goals. Six-point game. I am bloody loving this, but am not even sure why. It’s really not important. Jeez, it’s fun. It’s exciting. It’s meaningless. Blues fumble, Brown snaps GOAL! C’mon Lions. Flash to Rudd, he’s even on the big screen at the game – the crowd boos – dont they remember their $900! (Lisa got a triff bag from part of it!). Jason Roe touches the ball again. The Blues score. Jeez, he’s hopeless, stupid bastard! High tackle penalty to Blues. ‘You’re kidding, ump’. Clark saves the day. Brown gets clobbered taking a mark, gets sent to the blood bin. He’s filthy about not being able to take the kick despite blood pouring from his head. How hard is that bloke! Johnson takes the kick and converts. Bugger, another fast break. Goal to Fevola. Wanker! Up the other end Bradshaw marks – kicks from 53m – YES!

Half time, Lions by 1 point. Bath time. Come on, quick sticks, kids!

Second half commences. Must get a good start. Carlton score within 20 seconds. Jesus! I hate that. Sherman having a great game, “Inspiring in his endeavours” according to Tim Lane. Another to Bradshaw. Go you good thing. Clark and Brennan doing well in the ruck. We need momentum. Fevola pulls off a great tackle. Penalty. Goal. Shithead. I admire anyone who can watch these type of games without emotion and I vow to ‘sit back and relax’ for the next 15 minutes. What a disaster that was! Blues kick a few and all of a sudden we are 22 points down. Bugger. Far better to be shouting at the tele, but the kids are in bed now so have to keep a lid on it. I cant take it. I feel ill.

A superb dinner appears – but who can eat watching the season coming crashing to an end. We switch to a DVD – it’s our second night ploughing through Gone With the Wind – what a cracker. “You might as well have a quick look” encourages Lisa. Less than 10 minutes left, the Lions are 8 points behind. While Atlanta was burning and Rhett was telling Scarlett ‘I love you’ for the first time, the Lions go on the rampage – goals to Brownie, then Hooper, then Brown again. Rich slots a screamer from 50 metres. Then Bradshaw marks and kicks and the Lions are in front! Unbelievable! They are tackling like madmen! They’re inspired. Rich kicks again, it skews off to the pocket, Bradshaw gathers a metre or two from the line, 20 or so metres from goal, he looks over the left shoulder, there’s no one to kick to, as he turns he has a shot, it’s through! He kicks the goal of the match! It’s is a miracle, I’m sorry, it is. The crowd go nuts. The Lions have kicked 6 goals straight and lead by 7 points. The hooter sounds. I am stunned. Everyone is stunned. That was the most impossible victory.

Lions: 16.15 (111) – D Bradshaw 5, J Brown 4, J Sherman 2, T Johnstone 2, D Rich, J Redden, R Hooper.

Blues: 15.14 (104) – B Fevola 3, C Cloke 2, N Stevens 2, A Carrazzo, C Judd, E Betts, J Garlett, J Russell, M Kreuzer, M Murphy, R Houlihan.

I am not sure I can take too much more of this. Dogs next week. Give me strength.